When I Look At You
by Ashleigh Crawley
Summary: After the White Feather incident at the concert in 201, Cora and William bump into each other unexpectedly and it leads to an important conversation. Rated T to be safe.


**When I look at you...**

**Author's Note: Alright, I have paused 201 to write this, and I'm doing so because of Cora after the white feather incident. I'm actually writing this at like 3 o'clock in the morning, so any mistakes can be blamed on that. More William/Cora. I seem to like this pairing sort of thing. It flows at 3 o'clock in the morning. **

Cora lay in her bed thinking about how successful the concert had been. Or rather, how successful it had been before those horrid women had started with their white feathers. William's face had been so filled with pain and it had hurt her. She knew that the only reason the young man hadn't enlisted was because his father didn't want him to. She turned her head to see Robert sleeping soundly next to her. She knew that he thought he deserved a white feather, when he really didn't. No one deserved that. The men who weren't fighting had reasons to not. William had to obey his father and be loyal to his family. Robert was needed at home to keep spirits up and such (not to mention how much she needed him). And even Branson had the reasoning of not believing in this war. She hoped that William and Branson wouldn't be called up, but she hoped more for William to not, than Branson. Branson was strong willed and could likely use his revolutionary mind to defeat most of the German army single-handed. William, on the other hand, was more innocent, shy and of course, her favourite footman that had ever worked here in her almost 30 years of marriage.

She untangled herself from the sheets and grabbed her dressing gown and put on her night shoes. She needed a drink and she knew, that since no one would likely be downstairs, she would have to do it herself, although, it's not like she minded. The war had changed her, had changed Downton. She left the room quietly, going through Robert's dressing room so that she didn't wake him. She walked down stairs and on her way to the kitchen, she heard sobbing coming from the hall where the servants took their meals. She approached the room cautiously. She peered in and saw William sitting at the piano bench, his head in his hands, crying. She walked in and approached him. "William," she said quietly. He immediately jumped up.

"M'Lady," he said. "What's the matter? I didn't hear you ring? Do you need something?"

"I didn't ring, I just came down for some water. And I think I should be the one asking your first question, except that I know what's troubling you. Sit down dear," she said, pulling a chair closer to the piano bench. "Do you play?"

"I do, M'Lady," he replied. "Would you like me to get you your water?"

"If you wouldn't mind William," she replied, smiling as he stood up to go to the kitchen. When he returned with a glass, he half expected her to leave, but she remained seated. "Thank you, William, you're so sweet."

"Sweet, or a coward?" he asked, sitting back down. "M'Lady, when you look at me, do you see a coward? Please be honest, don't lie to spare my feelings."

"No, William," she said, touching his hand, which was resting on his knee, lightly. "I don't see a coward. I see a brave young man who is only staying behind so that his father doesn't feel so alone in this world, and I also see a brave young man who I respect so very much. Now, do you want to play for me? I would very much like to hear it."

"Oh, alright, M'Lady, but since you asked, I was wondering if you play," he asked, hoping he wasn't overstepping boundaries.

"I do, actually. Not much anymore, but when I was younger, I loved to play. It was a favourite pastime of mine," she said. "If you want, I can play after you."

"I would like that M'Lady," he said, smiling lightly, sliding his hands from underneath her's, leaving her touching his knee for a moment before drawing back. He turned to the piano and began to play. He looked over at her ladyship and noticed her smiling quite broadly, it made him long for her. But, why would she want him when she had a happy marriage with Lord Grantham. She was just being nice to him, that's all, it only meant that she cared about the people who lived and worked in her home. It made sense. He continued playing for a few minutes before stopping. Once he had concluded, there was applause coming from beside him. Her Ladyship was clapping and smiling at his playing, and that caused him a great deal of happiness.

"Well done William, that was lovely," she said, continuing to smile. "Now, shall we switch places so that you can tell me how very rusty I am?"

"I highly doubt that you're rusty, M'Lady," he replied, standing up and switching places with her. She sat down at the piano and took a deep breath before she began to play. William felt like his heart would beat out of his chest at her playing. It was so beautiful, almost as beautiful as her. But in William's mind, nothing shone brighter than Lady Grantham. Not even Daisy. Daisy had been cruel to him in the past and he knew that Her Ladyship would never do that to anyone. He let his eyes run over her. Her hair was pulled back in a loose braid, but the moonlight coming through the small window made it shine so much that he wanted to undo the braid and run his fingers through it. Her neck was exposed as she had her head cocked to the side slightly. Her lips were slightly parted, almost as if she was inviting someone to kiss her. Her chest rose and fell with each breath that she took and it was quite visible through her dressing gown. Her hands ran over the keys delicately and he was beginning to feel the effects she had on him. When she stopped playing, William was in awe and he began clapping quite loudly.

"Thank you William, but I don't think I was good enough to deserve that amount of applause. Now, let's talk about what's been troubling you," she said, coming to sit beside him, taking a sip of water from her glass. "I want to tell you that you are certainly not a coward or anything. I know you want to fight and I know you'd do quite well fighting on the front lines, because your innocence would protect you. William, you can't listen to those horrid women, they shouldn't have said those things. They shouldn't have been there at all. If they really wanted to help, they would do something useful, rather than make others feel bad about themselves," she said. "At the servant's ball last year, you told me that my opinion matters. Please listen to me."

"Your opinion does matter, M'Lady-" he began.

"Cora," she said. "When we're alone, you could call me Cora. If you want. I'm not going to force you. But only when we're alone, and don't tell the others." She smiled at him lightly. Even though the only light was coming from the moon that poked through the window, she was sure he was blushing.

"Alright, Cora," he said, tasting her name on his tongue. "Your opinion matters more to me than most things do, but even Lady Edith said at dinner that it's shameful that there are healthy young men doing nothing."

"Don't listen to Lady Edith," she replied. "She can say the cruelest things. She's so nice one minute and then she cuts like a razor the next."

"So, you really don't think I'm a coward?" he asked.

"No, I don't," she replied. "Now, if that's all, I think we should get to bed. I mean, we should both go up so that you can get some sleep and I should be getting back, otherwise, if His Lordship wakes up, he may worry."

William exhaled at her explanation of what she meant by going to bed. He would have loved to go to bed with her, but if he was going to die any time soon, he wanted it to be fighting, rather than have His Lordship murder him for getting too close to Cora. He loved her and wanted her close to him forever, but he couldn't. She was happily married to His Lordship. "Alright," he said, standing up. "I believe that you believe that I am not a coward."

"I know you're not a coward William," she corrected. "There's a difference between knowing and believing." she stood up and left the servant's hall. Just before she began to walk up the stairs, she turned to William. "Good night, my dear boy."

"Good night, M'Lady," he said, bringing back the formalities until Cora tilted her head to the side, practically telling him to use her actual name. "Good night, Cora." Cora smiled and him for a moment before he smiled as well. Cora took a deep breath before moving again, and when she did, it was to cup one of William's cheeks in her hand and place a soft kiss on the other cheek. Once she had pulled away from William, she turned and walked back upstairs to her husband.

William stood there for another moment, pressing his hand to where she had kissed him. Tonight was a night he would never forget. It was his first kiss. And it was a kiss from a Lady, not just anyone.


End file.
